Monkey Chants

Andrew Symonds, the most valuable player in the recently concluded one day series between India and Australia, is quite upset by all the monkey chants that were directed at him by the crowds at Mumbai and Nagpur. Symonds was hurt by all this.

But Ricky Ponting, the Australian team captain, is quite impressed with the maturity that “Symmo” has shown. He hasn’t let the “monkey chants” get to him. He managed to remain focused and piled on the runs in the match at Nagpur, earning yet another man of the match of award. All very well.

But deep in the Byculla zoo, here in Mumbai, the monkey enclosure has gone silent. The monkeys are really upset. Visitors to the zoo are complaining that monkeys seemed subdued and extremely down. They aren’t swinging around from the fake branches with uncontrolled monkey zeal anymore, like they did last week. Very sad indeed. “Monkeys aren’t that bad” they say. “And you shouldn’t feel dejected if you are called one. What is wrong with us? Didn’t you once evolve from us?”, they ask.

Well, only Mr. Andrew Symonds and the Australian cricket team can answer that.

The monkeys have allegedly decided to ignore the human race from their scheme of things. They don’t feel it is appropriate to swing across branches and entertain hordes of people when humans find it disgraceful to be called a monkey. Itseems like this new cricketing controversy has taken planetary proportions.

The ICC has had more than a handful in the past few months. A certain Darell Hair took them on by suing them on racism grounds and few weeks later the ICC has split hairs by having to deal with racism threats in the grounds in Mumbai. I’m sure this monkey business will leave them tearing their hair out. 

The Australian blogging community has not taken to this new controversy lightly. The Australian fans are promising the Indian team similar treatment when they travel to Australia in December. But they, apparently, will do it in a far more subtle manner so as to avoid being evicted from the zoo… err… stadium.

Now, the Australian monkeys in the Sydney Zoo and the Melbourne Zoo aren’t particularly amused by this apparently! They want to be recognised as equally dangerous and offensive as their Indian counterparts. So, there was an international diplomacy effort afoot to soothe monkey nerves! At the end, this monkeying has been resolved peacefully between the monkey tribes. The Indian monkey-cousins have pledged their support to their brothers and sisters Down Under.

As ordinary cricket and mother-earth-loving human beings, we just hope this controversy dies down pretty soon and things get back to normal in our quiet little cricketing world!

— i3j3Guest — Sripathy Ramaswamy

 Contributors’ Comment:The above represents views of the writer and are not necessarily shared by the Contributors to i3j3Cricket.

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