Australia to join Ranji Plate League

Australia will join Afghanistan and Uganda in the Ranji Plate League with immediate effect. In a dramatic turnaround of events after the pathetic loss (on all counts) to New Zealand, Australia in an effort to salvage any remaining pride will try and regain some form by playing against the minnows of the Indian league. Cricket Australia officials stated that they reached an understanding with the BCCI in this regard. CA expects Ponting to regain some behavioral form and the new players get accquainted to competition of an international sort. CA is also expecting that Brad Haddin start keeping behind the wickets as opposed to being in front of them. This agreement comes as a big relief to the Aussies as they try and maintain their official status as “champions once upon a time”. This also gives them an opportunity to witness in person the humanitarian efforts by multilateral agencies to increase public awareness of cricket in Afghanistan, Uganda, Vidharba, Assam, Himachal Pradesh and Services. Our best wishes to the Australian team and their newfound desire to qualify for the Ranji Super League.

– Srikanth

Please note that the above article is pure work of fiction and does not in any way reflect any form of reality…..I think……

13 responses to “Australia to join Ranji Plate League

  1. Nice one! Ever since their terrible behaviour in Sydney 2008, Australia has been smashed from pillar to post in a Karmic manner. While other teams have gone from strength to strength many of the Australian protagonists of that sad sad sad Test match are floundering today. Karma.

  2. It was irresistible to see Aus lose even when the greatest Aus open final ever going on in the other channel.To be fair the Kiwis desperately tried to lose but still managed to win.This too me is the most humiliating defeat, as coming from a highly marginalised team thanks to ICL/IPL and a board which spends a fraction of what Aussies pay to train their players.
    What distingushes great captains is their handling of close matches and I dont remember ponting ever win a real tight one(please do correct me if I am wrong) and this is where I think Dhoni excels.
    Maybe a different Aussie captain might have won this one as Kiwis certainly looked vulnerable towards the end.

  3. chris hutchinson

    Not looking forward to playing Afghanistan. The pitch will be a minefield!

    With regards to the Ponting / Vettori / Dhoni comparison. You have got to be kidding making the Dhoni comparison.

    Everybody with an unbiased appreciation of crickets ups and downs will know that Australia has lost too much quality and it’s back up isnt up to it yet.

    Enjoy the Aussies bottoming out. It wont last long and people like me will be able to remind you of how things are done to reach the top and stay there for 15 years.

    As for Vettori, he is a wolf in sheeps clothing and cant help but play the brutalised little brother like the rest of his country.

    Haddin either knew better or didnt! No-on will ever know.

  4. @chris

    Your statement back at you: “Harbhajan either knew better or didnt! No one will ever know.”

    Why does the whole of Australia not accept that and yet want us to accept what Haddin did?

    I’ll tell you why?

    The whole of Aus thinks, “Haddin is a good, honest, Church-going, white bloke. He can’t have cheated. He won;t have cheated, whereas that brown guy must have cheated because that’s the way they are!”

    The real problem is that Australia has to learn to get off its pedestal both literally and figuratively.

    The literal part is happening right in front of our eyes, accompanied with misplaced hope from her fans which leads them to say “It wont last long and people like me will be able to remind you of how things are done to reach the top and stay there for 15 years.”

    The figurative part, which started in Sydney 2008, will take a few more years after several excruciating rounds of extreme arrogance and denial from its captain. The rot stems from the top.

    Dhoni and Smith are the best captains going around today in world cricket! Dhoni, in particular, has moulded an ordinary team into a winning one.

    Time to accept that chris.

    If not, just as you realised that the Australian “back up isn’t up to it” AFTER it was shown up, you’ll realise Dhoni’s captaincy greatness only AFTER it is proven.

    Get rid of your inherent hate and smell the roses.

  5. chris hutchinson

    I said Haddin you clown.

    Forget your semantical gobbledeegook and get with this issue.

    If you want to refer back to Harbhajan go for your life.

    Hate! Dont use the word champ. People like you do.

    Ordinary team captained by Dhoni! Sehwag, Dravid, Tendulkar, Ganguly (another of your great captains whose records doesnt speak for itself) and thats the batsman. Dhoni hasnt moulded anything yet and time hasnt judged him yet.

    Play the racist card at will. Us arrogant white church going (funny analogy) blokes just see it like water of a ducks back.

    Time will tell friend.

    Graeme Smith and Dhoni great captains. Yep! Time will tell.

  6. @chris

    Forget the “time will tell” nonsense…

    Point is: “Ponting is a horrible captain”

    Time has told!

    Live in the present dude!

    I know you said Haddin. I reversed the statement and inserted Harbhajan instead just to prove why that would not be acceptable to “you guys”.

    Surely Harbhajan is as believable as Haddin is especially when the guy that accused him is today languishing near a psychiatrists’ couch somewhere with an alcohol abuse problem and many other problems!

    And you goose, when I talked of Dhoni moulding a team as captain I was talking of the T20 and ODI teams he has captained in a stellar manner. Under his watch, the India team has moved from #7 to #1 (almost). He picked up the Test reigns 5 Tests back. Settle down.

    Either get with the program or get out of it.

  7. The Australians have lost the plot! Today Ponting claimed that Vettori apologized to Haddin via SMS! Next he will start claiming that the sun rises in the West every day!

  8. chris
    I dont think anyone wants to see aussies bottom out just this particular presumptous captain and his crew.
    And its time your countrymen recognise that dislike for Australian team has been on rise of recent.A certain chappell might have increased it a bit in India but overall its the current team’s behaviour to blame.

  9. chris hutchinson

    Live in the present dude!


    If you think the last 18 months is the only window for Ponting’s judgement then go for your life.

    I dont need to point out what Australia has lost in recent times and what they cant even put on the park at present.

    It is enjoyable to read, listen and watch the Aussie bashing because we know there is:

    1. Joy in seeing them finally suffer after 15 years
    2. an orchestrated effort to destabilise Australian cricket by those who need this to happen

    So enjoy the dimming light of your extraordinary batting lineup and new found bowling fervour, enjoy SA’s rise (AND HOPE THEY’VE GOT THE BALLS TO MANAGE IT) and enjoy NZ’s ever present little brother petulance.

    Only time will tell if any of you are up to it.

    And good god gentleman, be prepared to defend what your countryman do without being so blind.

  10. Ok, I have been a cricket lover since eternity . I will try to be fair and unbiased.
    First of all, Credit goes to Australia for doing
    1. Raised standard of the game by scoring run rates, running between wickets, fielding and bowling(McGrath and Warne) and dominating the game for 15 years
    2. Incredible channel 9 heat map replays and angles

    – Sledging became the norm as the Oz criceters wanted to intimidate and win at any cost(slater went scott free for sledging gentleman dravid)
    – Ponting and Co. took it to the heights in the Sydney ’08 game
    – Match refrees, Oz media and umpires turned blind eye to Oz cricketers misbehaviour as playing it hard
    – Not accepting that every team has to go thru evolution like WI of the 80s and Glenn, Shane, Gilly, Steve(Punter is not even half as good as steve) and Haydo(at best) do not happen everyday

    Indian bowling is now among the best because of the way Zaheer and Ishant can swing, bounce and reverse swing the ball. Indian batting and SA bowling has always been good.
    SA batting is among the best bcos of the promise of Smith(leading from Front), classy Amla, soon to be legend Duminy and world class De-villers.
    Sorry to say, but reality is Oz will have to wait(watching ponting’s reaction after losing each match)for a while before then can even be a shadow of their former self.

  11. I take the points made by Sundeep and harinee – i too am not a great fan of sledging, agree ponting is on a learning curve as captain, symonds has had problems, and consider the impressive south africa (who won the series in australia) as the top test team in the world at the moment.
    Raghuram – you seem to have a chip on your shoulders. Race should not be an issue here. There will always some bad apples – but dont taint all with that brush. I find it strange that some people will support their team and individual players with blind patriotism – a true supporter of their team should also cast a critical eye on their own situation as well. With support like yours, karma will surely come.

    things tend to turn around for everybody
    it is Australia’s time to rebuild – im looking forward to that – it is part of the game

    in the meantime, im looking forward to watching in 2009 the two most impressive teams ive seen recently – South Africa, then India (in that order)

  12. yeah it will be good to watch how SA will handle Aus at home.

    Indian team has this problem of an autocratic unreasonable board of cricket(called the greedy BCCI). With IPL, champions trophy(now to be held inSL), they just want to keep their coffers ringing riding on the popularity for the game and treating its players as robots.

    For eg. India is supposed to tour NZ and there is not even a practise match before the ODI and test series. Instead they arrange for a pointless ODI series against sri-lanka and all these days India has been playing on slow and low pitches completely opposite to what they will face in NZ.

    I will watch out for Dumminy, Steyn, Gambhir and Ishant Sharma this year.

  13. Its always fun to see two fanatics go at each others throats when neither has an argument and both believe they’re right.
    To defend Harbhajan and Haddin because you want to get one up on the other country tells us why the world is getting increasingly polarized and divided today. As more people become hateful and intolerant we can expect the blind zealots to become more popular and forceful in their thirst for blood, something that has never worked out well for anyone.

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