If only…..


The daggers are out, the rifles are loaded, they are going for the kill. Most Indian media, a largely irrational fan base, highly insecure former cricketers of the successful and unsuccessful kind and many more have more or less dismissed this Indian team. The Lords mishap has become a catastrophic failure. Irrelevant statistics are being produced and reproduced to prove how the defeat was as predictable as anything could possibly be. All recent successes going back to as far as 2007 are forgotten memories, mere outliers.

Given a choice this could have all been avoided. India could have won Lords and subsequently the series (it is irrelevant what happens in the next 3 tests)if only:

1. India refused to play the first test. Hereafter India should only begin a series with a 2nd test.
2. Extended the IPL till such time that Sehwag was fit and arrive late in England.
3. Ensure that Zaheer Khan played at least two tests even if it was for some other country so that he was match fit.
4. Avoid getting Tendulkar to field on a cold day before he bats so that he doesn’t pick up a viral infection. Dhoni should have consulted the team doctor before fielding first.
5. Make sure Ishant Sharma doesn’t get to eat lunch when bowling. Starvation is better for a bowler than indigestion. Again, Dhoni should have consulted the team doctor at lunch before offering food to Ishant Sharma on the fourth day.
6. Ensure that Harbhajan Singh gets the first wicket of the innings even if it means manipulating the scoreboard. He needs to be in the mood to bowl well.
7. Dhoni should have kept a mobile device with him to continually monitor Sanjay Manjrekar’s tweets, Sunil Gavaskar’s tips on positioning slip cordons, Kapil Dev’s tips on bowling changes, Ravi Shastri’s cliches, Harsha Bhogle’s tongue in Geoffrey’s Boycott’s cheeks, David Lloyd’s wicket keeping tips, and Peter Roebuck’s axioms. The result would have been different.
8. Tendulkar should have asked James Anderson to bowl to him at the nets instead of his unknown marathi friend or Monty Panesar, that way, he would been better prepared to play swing bowling.
9. Tendulkar should have bought his property far away from Lords. That way, he wouldnt have takenthe pitch for granted. He should cut out strokes outside the off stump, towards mid wicket, square of the wicket, pull stroke, down the ground and attempt to play naturally. Anyways, statistics tell us that Tendulkar doesn’t score well in the second innings, doesn’t save games for india, doesnt win games for India, doesn’t bat till the end…
10. BCCI should have used its powers to ensure that Strauss did not get to play for Somerset. He found india out before the series began.

Now that Sanjay Manjrekar has decided to go England after all, Dhoni has apologized to Kapil Dev for making a mockery of test cricket, Sunil Gavaskar has confirmed that Ishant Sharma is a quick learner because he said “sorry” on TV and UB has withdrawn it’s ad ridiculing Harbhajan, India may very well take the series.

– Srikanth

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3 responses to “If only…..

  1. Ha! Ha!

  2. come on, man – India lost the Lords test because of Zaheer Khan, it is as simple as that. He was not in match fitness to bowl 25 overs in each innings. Already the bowling is weak, if you lose a bowler, …

    This is not the first time, Zaheer pulled up like this. India lost the Melbourne test in Australia – after winning @ Adelaide because of Zaheer.

    Bhajji is only working on doosra and theesra and does not bowl regular off spin. Greame Swan is able to get such turn, in contrast. I think Bhajji should be dropped and Ashwin should play.

  3. More than the match the missing of a dinner hosted by a high commission is on news and we had this lengthy explanation from BCCI(not sure who it was) on why it was missed.What a breaking news it was !!
    Man how easy it is to work as a TV journalist nowadays!

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